Unintended Conflagration

At the last LeMons race last October, it was made clear that our second car was Miata non grata at LeMons races. We were lucky to have escaped with just the 500 penalty laps and not something more grave. So, we set out to find a new second car for the race in September and happened upon another Audi 90 quattro. This one had been in a fire, was located halfway across the country in Florida, didn't run, and had a Certificate of Destruction, which means it can never have a clear title and we will never be able to trade or sell the car. This car is a one-way ticket. Legally, it's only mission left in life is to die. Perfect.

Being the slick, financial geniuses that we are, we made a deal to trade a perfectly good Coupe GT for the chunk of charcoal, packed-up a borrowed truck and hit the road. We met the owner in the middle, just outside of Gulfport, Mississippi.

Straight from www.carsofwalmart.com?

Ken, obviously super excited about the deal he has made. Mmm..okay.

After a side excursion to the Abita Beer Brewpub and a quick stop for some roadside crawfish, we got the car home and immediately began triage. I know I'm crackin' wise about the fire and the condition of the car, but honestly, how bad can it be?


Oh.

With no time to cry, we split into teams and got to work. Ken would lead the build, Eric and Andrew would work on the wiring harness, Ryan and I would be the team strippers (not nearly as interesting as it sounds), and Kang would stand around looking befuddled. To be fair, Kang is our cage specialist, so we won't need him until later. Since he had a little extra free time, he decided to get married and go on a honeymoon. Mike was temporarily occupied with his personal Audi 90, which he bought for $250 and looks like it just drove off the showroom floor. Okay, Mike might actually BE a financial genius.

This team is crazy for the Audi 90.

So far, we have spent all of our time taking the car apart or removing things from the car. Here are photos and videos of that process:

Ken tries a new process for removing sound deadening material.

Jimmy and Ryan remove the sunroof cartridge.

Eric fighting the car. Who will win?

Kang, Ryan, and Eric strip the car.

We made our bed, now Eric attempts to lie down in it.

At least the tires are good. Sigh.

Less than two weeks until the sign-up deadline for LeMons Texas; let's see where we stand:

• Engine running? No.
• Is the engine even complete? No.
• Do we have a good wiring harness? No.
• Is the safety cage in the car? No.
• What about seat and harnesses? No.
• Any other safety stuff done? No.
  
• Theme? No.

So, right on schedule, I see. God, help us.

Jimmy