Team Unintended Acceleration

Lap 86

2011-08-14T20:56:00.002-05:00

18 Hours of ChumpCar 2011 Bonus Material

I drove off the track on lap 86 of the 18 Hours of ChumpCar race held at Texas World Speedway (TWS), on July 23-24, 2011. It wasn’t remarkable that I drove off of the track, I had already done that twice in the same stint. What made this off-track excursion remarkable was the fact that, until I was actually off and into the grass, I had no idea that anything had gone wrong. I thought I had negotiated Turn 3 correctly and that I was driving straight towards Turn 4. Suddenly, I found myself flying straight off the track with my foot still planted on the accelerator! It really shocked me. The major factor in this accident was that it occurred at night and the lights on our car were abysmal. I could barely see the track at all. The other thing that makes the off remarkable is that it destroyed the car. So, what happened?

Leading Theory

I found the answer with the help of Harry’s GPS Lap Timer, which is an inexpensive, but very nice little data acquisition system that Andrew Bianchi bought and which we evaluated during this race. One of the nice features is the ability to overly the GPS plot lines onto Google Maps. So, the end of Lap 86 looked like this:

1. It clearly shows that I drove straight off of the track. I was not trying to save a botched turn.

2. I was going 64 mph when I went off, which also supports 1. To end-up on the inside of the track, because of a botched turn, would have meant an almost inconceivable tank-slapper that would have burned a lot of speed. 64 mph is consistent with my speeds at that point on earlier laps.

3. Most importantly, it gives a clue to the most plausible explanation for what happened. In the dim light afforded to me, the road repair patch at the track-out of Turn 3, looked to me to be the edge of the track. The road patch mimics the size, shape, and shade of the actual track-out point (A vs. B).

Assuming that on a previous good lap, I hit the track-out point of Turn 3 (A) correctly, we can adjust for the GPS inaccuracy of the “Correct Line” in the illustration above, correcting it so that the line intersects that track-out point. If we adjust the Lap 86 plot accordingly (intersecting B), we can see what happened. I thought the road patch was the edge of the track and I thought I was a few meters to the left of where I actually was. After finishing the turn, I wanted to take a defensive line on the inside of Turn 4, so I pointed the car to the right side of the track, but I immediately ran out of track, even sooner than the uncorrected GPS plot line shows.

If it seems like I’m working too hard to analyze this event and hypothesize a reasonable causation for it, it’s probably because I don’t like the alternate theory.

Alternate Theory

I suck at driving.

Site Survey

After the race, Peter Haas took Kang Lee and myself on a site survey to see if we could find any clues that would explain the extensive damage to the car.

In this photo, we can plainly see the tire tracks going off into the field. While there are some minor undulations, overall the field seems fairly level. Certainly, it seems like it should be no problem for an Audi quattro with good ground clearance.

Oh. Kang finds the problem.

The right-front tire went into the culvert and the cow-catcher dug into the ground. The cow-catcher then folded-up under the car and most likely broke the oil pan and oil cooler. If I had been one meter to the left, nothing would have happened. I would have slowed the car, driven back onto the track, and continued the race. Ten minutes later and I would have had help from the early morning sunlight and the accident most likely would not have happened. Heartbreaking.

A piece of the oil pan and the resultant oil spill.

Jimmy works the accident scene. Photo: Kang Lee

The ground-catcher. Photo: Kang Lee

Here is the cow-catcher on the car. It was designed to help hold the front-end of the car together as well as provide some protection from minor offs. Without a skid plate, it dug into the earth, bent back, and caused critical damage to the car. A point of team debate – the nosecone provided a skid plate for the cow-catcher. How did the decision to run without the nosecone affect the results of this accident?

The damaged cow-catcher and a gallery of other stuff that I busted.

Notice the tight door seam tolerances. They exceed normal German build quality so much that the passenger door no longer opens. Also, the wheel does not belong there. It should be centered in the wheel well. Got caster?

A Tribute

Even though we finished the race in this car, everyone agrees that it is finished. This car was totaled years ago, but through the will and hard work of our race team, the car lived-on giving the team years of fun and adventure. It was a good car and she will be missed.

Jimmy

18 Hours of ChumpCar 2011

2011-08-14T20:38:00.004-05:00

We get rocked at Chumpstock

I looked out of the open window of my car. I was parked in the middle of a grassy field with the engine off. It was maybe 5:40 am and the early morning air was thick and quiet, except for the occasional sound of a passing car on the nearby road and the ticking of the cooling engine. I watched the East Texas sky warm slowly from pitch black to the color of a deep purple bruise. In that pre-dawn stillness, I thought about the frenetic activity of the previous days and especially of the last several hours. Had we been foolish? Had we just been unwilling to accept our fate, like recalcitrant children protesting against an early bedtime? Weren’t we just tiny seeds ground in the mill of destiny? I found peace in feeling small. Looking towards the horizon, just above Turn 7, I could see the sky begin to turn pink. Plain darkness yielded to faint lines, shades, and shapes. For the first time all night, I could see the edge of the track. I rested in peaceful reverie. Then a man ran up to the car with a tow hook. That was strange. Surely, the car was too crippled to tow. But the man hooked the car to drag it back to the paddock. Did that imply that the wheels and tires were still intact? How could that be? But as he pulled the car back to the garage, I could see the steering still worked. The brakes still worked. I keyed the radio, “Eric, it’s a long shot, but we might still have a chance. Here is what I want you to do…”
____

The 18-Hour ChumpCar Challenge at TWS was a new challenge for our team. Usually, our race weekends are broken-up into two races of seven hours or so, one on Saturday and one on Sunday. The break in between allows for repair work on the car, a good meal, and a good night’s sleep for the team. The 18-hour race would, by far, be our longest race to date. It would also be our first race at TWS and perhaps most importantly, it would be our first night race. To beat the substantial, record-breaking Texas Summer heat, the race would begin at 4 pm on Saturday and finish at 10 am on Sunday morning. There would be no scheduled service time for the car, no good meals, and little to no sleep for the team.

The new challenges were exciting and the team agreed to sign-up for the race. The race car was still good from the last ChumpCar race in November, so all we really had to do was add some lights, fill the car with oil and gasoline, and go racing. But the race wasn’t for months and the team, unable to cope with the boredom of a ready-to-race vehicle, got ambitious. Texas World Speedway (TWS), in College Station, Texas, is a high-speed track, but the Audi was a low-speed brick, without any front bodywork. It was worse than a brick. It was a parachute that was slowing us down. So, we all agreed that the car could benefit from some aerodynamic assistance.

After much debate about the design, Andrew and Kang fabricated a new nosecone for the front of the car. Taking a lesson from Audi Sport and the R8/R10 race cars, the design was one-piece and featured the ability to be removed quickly, in case the car needed to be serviced during the race. The design also featured an air dam set far back towards the front wheels, which prevented air from passing underneath the car, but which still allowed the car to be put on a trailer, without removing the new front end. The sheet metal-over-aluminum-frame construction, ensured that the nosecone would slice through fingers as easily as it sliced through the air. The nosecone was unpainted to save weight. It was brilliant.

The engineering marvel that is our new nose cone. This is an hommage to the Auto Union Streamliner, whose aerodynamic peculiarities were responsible for the death of Bernd Rosemeyer, one of the greatest Grand Prix drivers in history. Somehow, we thought this was a good idea.

1938 Auto Union Streamliner

There was also much contentious debate about the headlights. In my first email on the subject, I told the team we should buy four rally lights, put them on the hood of the car, and call it a night. But that plan was deemed too cheap, and too easy. Instead, over the course of months, the team acquired two BMW headlights from a junkyard and two fog lights from an auto parts store. The headlight housings had to be painstakingly disassembled to accept the custom brackets that also had to be fabricated, in order to fit the lights into our twisted car. Finally, after months of trial and error, metal fabrication, and custom wiring, we had our lights. They were terrible. The drivers would have been better off wearing those reading glasses with the LED lights built into the temples.

The rally lights on a Porsche 944. How stupid is THAT?

There was more than the usual contention going on with the team. Despite the high effort by a few people, overall, I felt like the team was suffering from a general malaise. To some degree, this was understandable. Significant events were occurring in the lives of the team. In the months before the race, I was distracted by more overseas travel for work, Mike was starting a new business, and Ryan was busy with a new job and the impending birth of his first child. In fact, he would have to sit-out the race, because it so closely coincided with the due date.

Race preparation had followed its usual trend, with relaxed work for months and a sudden push at the end to get everything done. The team’s experimentation with anarchy (or extreme libertarianism, if you like), continued its predictable spiral downwards into the worst disorganization (and resultant frustration) we have suffered so far. When I showed-up at the hangar on Friday morning, the car wasn’t ready, the tow truck wasn’t ready, nothing was packed, and nobody was around. Vehicle safety inspection started three hours from then, at a track that was two-and-a-half hours away. I was livid.

Our race car in the safety inspection station.

Seven hours later we rolled-up to the track. It was a rough seven hours. There was yelling. But in the end, we got the car to inspection under the wire and without any bloodshed, except that caused by the front-end of the car. The inspection itself went very well, but then the inspector walked over. “So, do you have your AIV?” he asked.

“I don’t know what that is,” I said.

“Who is the team captain?” he asked.

“I am.”

“Did you read the rule book?” He smiled, but I could see him mentally wagging his finger at me.

“Yep.”

“Well, do you have your AIV?”

“I still don’t know what that is.”

“Your vehicle valuation.”

I slapped my forehead and we shared a big laugh at my dull witlessness. But, I was in no mood to cope with someone spouting jargon and lingo at me. I needed straight talk, so I stopped laughing and returned the favor, “No. We don’t have one of those.”

The inspector’s expression changed. I recognized it from years of looking my teachers right in the eye and telling them that no, I had not done my homework and no, I didn’t have an excuse, I just couldn’t be bothered to do it. The truth was that we actually had a detailed valuation book, but it was just one of the many things we had forgotten and left at home. I didn’t think an excuse would matter one way or another, so I didn’t offer one. The inspector did not look happy. He set-off on his own to figure the value of our car. That was a problem. The way ChumpCar does that is by finding cars for sale on the Internet and using those prices as a basis for valuation. As it happens, we drive an extremely rare car. In fact, there was only one to be found for sale on the Internet and sure enough, the lunatic wanted $4000 for it! Convincing the inspector that our car was only worth $500 would be tricky. Luckily, Eric arranged for Ken to bring the book the next day and the inspector agreed to do the valuation assessment at that time.

With the most difficult part of the inspection process behind us, we began setting-up our garage space. We had missed the deadline for picking up the rental trailer, where we would sleep. Eric had called from the road and the proprietors had said that they were just about to close. They explained that they had an engagement and that they would meet us to pick-up the trailer at 10:30 pm. I thought that was a little weird, but I guess they had to go honky-tonkin’ and such. Nice of them to meet us after. Anyway, that made for a relaxed evening and I spent some time capturing photos of an unusual sunset.

Our 1978 Dodge Prospector tow vehicle. Because towing a $500 ChumpCar racer with a $44,000 Ford F-350 looks stupid. The light show is caused by the reflection of the sun off of the Arctic ice cap. This phenomenon is rarely seen as far south as Texas.

After the sun had fallen, we had just enough time to drive around the paddock a couple of times to check our lights. Unfortunately, the paddock area was lit and it was difficult to assess anything. We also ran out of time, because we learned that the gate closed at 10 pm. We would either be locked-in or locked-out. Since we weren’t scheduled to pick-up the trailer until 10:30 pm, we were going to be locked-out. If anything went wrong with the delivery, we would need to find a room, or face sleeping on the side of the road.

The RV and trailer rental business was run out of the owner’s house, rather than a commercial storefront. On the way to his house, I got a little nervous, because after 15 or 20 minutes of driving through the country, we passed through a sketchy area that looked like it might be the meth capital of Brazos County. But, we arrived at the man’s house and found it on a beautiful piece of property. The trailers themselves appeared to be very clean and well kept. The owner was a good ol’ boy, very nice, helpful, and professional (his mullet and the drink that never left his hand, notwithstanding.) He showed us around the trailer, helped us get hooked-up to the truck, did some paperwork, and we were on our way. We had a late dinner at Chili’s, did a Wal-Mart run, and camped in the trailer, parked right outside of TWS. The trailer was clean and comfortable. Most importantly, the air conditioning was ice cold. I drifted-off easily and slept well until morning. And that would be the last time I slept for almost 32 hours.

Saturday morning came earlier than I had hoped. As nice as the trailer was, it was not light proof and the early morning sun blasted me awake. Eric and Bill were already up and trying to find the keys to the truck. An hour later, they found the keys, stowed the generator, packed-up the trailer, and drove a few hundred meters to our paddock space, where we set it up all over again. No matter, the race didn’t start until 4 pm and the day was very relaxed. Throughout the day, the rest of the team arrived and got checked-in while Eric and I spent most of the day waiting in the registration line. We also got the car valuation. Even with our records, the car was awarded five penalty laps. We made a donation to charity to make them go away. We would be starting square.

Andrew and Mark outside our rented team headquarters. Photo: Kang Lee

Even the ChumpCar organizers were relaxed. The race steward didn’t have his drivers’ meeting until about ten minutes before the start of the race. As soon as it was over, we got Andrew suited-up and had a quick team prayer. Then we got Andrew strapped into the car and a few minutes later – we were racing!

Ultra-rare photo of the Audi on-track with the experimental front end. Andrew takes the car onto the front straight. Photo: Kang Lee

As hard as this might be to believe, the new front end had never actually been tested in a wind tunnel, nor had we used Finite Element Analysis for its design. In fact, we had never even bothered to drive the car with it attached to the car at all. The first test came in the Unintended Acceleration Hillbilly Wind Tunnel™ which is when we towed the car to the track on an open trailer. That test actually did produce some deformity in the sheet metal, but it stayed attached to the car, so we called it a success. As Andrew circulated the car around the track, we looked for signs of nosecone instability. The worst-case scenario was that it would detach and cause damage to our car, or someone else’s car. But there was no sign of movement from the front end and no hint that the new aerodynamics would catapult the car into the air like a Mercedes LMP. Andrew reported that the car was good, or at least he would have if the radios had been working properly.

Reassured that the car was going to hold together and confident in Andrew, who is one of our safest drivers, I settled-in for the long night. I started to scrounge around for some food. Then, less than an hour later after the race started, Eric walked-up to me and said the same thing that the team says to me at every race, “They are towing our car in.”

Ken gets the story from Andrew.

Back in the paddock, Andrew told us what had happened. It was bad. He had suddenly lost power and when he looked down at the gauges, it showed there was no oil pressure. He stopped the car immediately and waited for help. At some point after he had stopped the car, the car also overheated. Expecting the worst, we pulled the front-end off of the car to get a better look.

Eric debriefs Andrew, while Ken, Mike, Mark, and Peter pull the front-end.

Jimmy posts an update for the Facebook fans, while Eric troubleshoots. Photo: Kang Lee

The radiator overflow...overflowed.

Naturally, everything was covered with rusty water from the radiator. After the engine cooled a bit, the Fluhrs performed some basic troubleshooting tests and determined that the engine was gone. Later, metal shavings in the oil pan would confirm our suspicions. We gathered around for a quick team meeting. In the shortest debate in Unintended Acceleration history, we agreed that a team should go back to Austin and get the engine from the other car. Meanwhile, the rest of us would stay back, pull the blown engine, and prepare the car for the new mill. We figured the whole swap would take nine hours, which would still leave us eight hours of racing! We dispatched Bill and Eric to Austin. Mark Hergott was suffering from heat stress, so he went back with them. They were on the road in minutes. The rest of the team got to work pulling the dead engine.

Jimmy prepares the operating room, while Eric makes a list of things we need from Austin. Photo: Kang Lee

Who needs an engine hoist? Photo: Kang Lee

Ready for the new engine. Photo: Kang Lee

Dinner at Freebirds. Peter Haas, Mike McGovern, Ken Fluhr, Wadad Fluhr, Butch Bianchi, Andrew Bianchi, Kang Lee, and Jimmy Pribble. Photo: some waiter

With everyone pitching-in, the enginectomy only took about an hour. Bill and Eric wouldn’t be back for hours, so we went into town for dinner at Freebirds, where there was much speculation and debate about the cause of the engine failure. For many, the new nosecone was the primary suspect. Perhaps it had prevented adequate airflow to the radiator. Others of us disagreed, since Andrew reported seeing stable temperatures during his almost hour-long stint. If there had been inadequate airflow, it seemed that a failure would have occurred much more quickly at race speeds.

Back at the track, the debate continued, but there were still many hours to go, so a few people tried to get a little rest. Peter Haas and I walked around and tried to watch some of the race from the carousel and then we went to check-out the Chumpstock bands. I would love to tell you that there was a massive crowd of college-age hippies dropping acid and dancing naked in the ~~mud~~ dust to the sounds of rock music. But I can’t, because there wasn’t. However, there were three children that seemed to enjoy the band.

Hey, do you guys know when Creedance goes on?

A couple of hours later, just after 11 o’clock, Bill and Eric arrived with the engine. We decided to let Ken get every last minute of sleep that he could before waking him, so the rest of us unloaded the engine and hoist, got the engine in front of the car and did as much prep work as we could. Then somebody went and woke-up Ken. It was on. Under Ken’s expert leadership, the team came together and got the engine into the car. Everyone played a part in that effort and I couldn’t have been more proud of the team.

Eric, Mike, and Jimmy unload the engine hoist, while Bill supervises. Photo: Kang Lee

Eric, Kang, and Peter prep the new engine.

Mike aligns the flywheel. This is also a good shot of our bag of snakes exhaust headers. Photo: Kang Lee

Midnight. With one final push from Ken, the engine is in the car. Also, caption contest. Submit entries in the Comments area.

Eric waits for the go-ahead to get back on track.

What do you mean you don't see anything wrong? That is smoke!

The team prepares to release the car.

Eric pulls out of the garage!

Exactly three hours after the engine arrived, Eric was back on track. He took one lap and came back into hot pit lane, just so that we could see if there were any leaks or other problems. Everything checked-out and he was on his way. We were back in the race! Total time lost was 8 hours and 20 minutes. If we had brought the other engine with us, it would have been half that. Lesson learned.

The team was exhausted. It was 2:30 am. Several of us were sitting in our pit area, when I looked over and saw that Andrew and Mike were dozing in their chairs. Peter had gone to sleep in his car and I think Bill was sleeping in the back of the Prospector. Early morning settled-in and covered us like a warm blanket. Sleep beckoned.

Midnight in the Hot Pit of Good and Evil

Around 3:45 am, Eric brought the car in. He reported that the headlights “sucked” which is about the strongest condemnation you will ever hear from Eric. But, he said the car was running well, so that was great news. Kang strapped-in and got on track.

Eric finishes our first full stint of the race. Kang waits on deck.

Kang ran really well, posting some of the fastest lap times and by far the fastest front straight speeds. He was a man possessed. Because everyone was so tired, I asked for volunteers to run the driving stint after Kang. Ken and Mike both declined, saying that they needed some rest. So it would be me then. I suited-up and waited for Kang to come in.

I got in the car around 5 am. We performed a very leisurely pit stop, with a full top-up on fuel. Kang told me that I wouldn’t be able to see anything out there, but that I would adapt. I drove to the end of hot pit lane, turned-in my time card, and accelerated onto the track. I entered at Turn 1, continued to the left-hand Turn 2 at about 70 mph, tracked out, and promptly drove off the track! The faint light patch of ground I had seen wasn’t the edge of the track. It was dirt. In such low light, I couldn’t see the edge of the track! Swell. I steered the car back onto the track and pressed-on. Indeed, Eric’s assessment of the lights (they “sucked”) was inadequate. Well, I was just the man to string together the right combination of foul adjectives to describe the lights and as soon as I got back to our pit, I planned to do just that.

Other than the lights, I had no problems with the car. In fact, the car handled better than it ever had. It was too bad that I couldn’t exploit that handling to turn better lap times. Instead, the good handling was saving me from my spastic driving, late braking, early turn-ins, and other mistakes I was making, because I couldn’t see. After going off track twice, I really dialed it back. I reduced my passing zones to just two and allowed myself to really get held-up by slower traffic. It was frustrating, but I didn’t have a lot of choice. Still, I was coping. Better than that, I was having fun.

Around 5:40 am, I took the right-hand Turn 3, straightened the car for the drive to Turn 4, and drove straight off the track with my foot still planted on the accelerator! It shocked the hell out of me. I went off at such a speed and departure angle that I knew I could not steer back onto the track. My foot came off of the gas and I started to apply the brakes, but I was still going over 60 mph when I hit a culvert. The wheel went into the culvert and the front-end pitched into the ground. The car skidded for a few feet and soon came to a stop. I sat still and did a quick triage of myself. I had taken quite an impact and my neck hurt from snapping forward. Worse, my back felt cold. I was scared that my body was reacting to a serious injury and that I might be going into shock. That’s when I realized that I was only feeling the cold water from my cool suit. I hadn’t noticed it while driving, but sitting still, I felt the ice water circulating around my body. I wiggled my toes and then gave the corner workers a thumbs-up outside the window so they could see that I was OK.

I got on the radio and told Eric, “I’m off. I’m OK, but we’re done.”

He asked me a few questions about the condition of the car and I responded, “We’re done.”

I followed protocol and did not get out of the car. While I waited for the tow truck, I tried to figure-out what had happened. It’s one thing to not be able to see very well, but I thought I had negotiated Turn 3 the same way I always did. Then I straightened the car, apparently thinking I had it pointed in the right direction, but I didn’t. Somehow, I had become unknowingly disoriented about my position on the track. Damned headlights. And then right on cue, the early morning sun started to lighten the sky.

The tow truck pulled-up and the driver ran over with a tow hook. He checked to make sure that I was okay and then he told me the engine had dumped it’s oil. I’m sure that the oil pan was damaged. Then he spent a good five minutes trying to attach the tow hook to something on the front of the car. Clearly, the whole front-end was destroyed. There was nothing left to hook. Eventually, he sorted it out and he began to drag the car back to the paddock. It occurred to me that the wheels were still attached, presumably rolling on inflated tires, the brakes worked, and the steering worked, though it didn’t feel quite right, probably because of the spontaneous, explosive front-end alignment I had given the car. I called back to Eric and told him to start pulling parts off of the old dead engine that we might need to salvage this engine. For sure, we would need the oil pan. I told them that it was a slim chance, but we might be able to save the car again.

We got the car back into the garage and this is what we saw:

Front-end damage. Say, where is our cow catcher?

Mike looks at the new twisty radiator. Photo: Kang Lee

Oil pan and radiator damage. Photo: Kang Lee

Bill woke-up Ken and it was on again. The team rallied a second time. We hadn’t come that far to just give up after a little setback like a totaled car. Ken started the car for a couple of seconds, just to make sure the engine would still run. Once that was confirmed, we set to work. The damage report: the front-end (the “cow catcher”) had been torn off the car. In fact, it had folded under the car and done most of the damage. The radiator, oil pan, oil filter and sandwich adapter, and oil cooler were destroyed. Also, one motor mount and one transmission mount had been broken. Most likely, the subframe and struts were bent.

Ken amused at the new challenge. Note the visible oil pan.

A beautiful morning at TWS.

We pulled the oil pan, oil filter and filter adapter from the old engine. We made a custom hose to take the place of the oil cooler, since we didn’t have a replacement. However, as evidence that we aren’t totally incompetent, we replaced the radiator with an actual spare part that we bring to the races for just such a purpose. We also had a spare motor mount. Imagine that. Unfortunately, we didn’t have a transmission mount, nor did we have a way to attach the front engine snub mount, which was originally secured by the cow catcher. So the engine was held in place by only three of the original five mounting points. The rest of the front end was held together with tow straps. Unconcerned with his safety or well-being, we put Mike in the car and sent him out to evaluate the repairs.

Mike brings the car in for inspection. Nice camber. Photo: Kang Lee

After a lap, Mike brought the car in and told Ken he thought everything was good enough. We sent him back out and he got to drive for a little over an hour.

Finally, it was Ken’s turn. If anyone deserved to drive the car and take the checkered flag, it was Ken. The weekend had been a team effort, but Ken is our primary mechanic and it was under his leadership and superlative skill that we had accomplished what we had. Ken got in the car with about 30 minutes left to race. And then, as if there hadn’t been enough miracles over the weekend, Ken took that knackered car, with wheels pointing every which way, and set the fastest lap times of the weekend.

Ken opens it up on the front straight and gives a thumbs-up as he approaches the checkered flag.

Ken takes the checkered flag! Photo: Kang Lee

Half an hour later, Ken took the checkered flag. We had done it! Not only that, but we weren’t even dead last. To cap it off, we won our very first trophy – an award for mechanical excellence. ChumpCar recognized our team for our never-say-die effort. Perhaps better than that, we had seen the team come together and perform better than it ever had. I have never been more proud to be a part of this team. I want to give special thanks to our support crew: Peter Haas, Butch Bianchi, and Mark Hergott.

Ken holds the Trophy for Mechanical Excellence. Photo: some guy

Unintended Acceleration will return.

Jimmy

Podium finish at H2R Enduro!

2011-04-10T14:43:00.017-05:00

All it took for Team Unintended Acceleration to finally finish on the podium was for us to enter four cars in a gimmick race with only about a dozen competitors. Still...in your face!

Harris Hill Road (H2R) held their 3rd Annual 3-Hr. Enduro on Saturday. While we didn't officially enter as a team, we were using the race to test the grey car and its newly-transplanted engine. We were also hoping to gather some fuel usage data for the upcoming 18-hr Chump race at Texas World Speedway in July. Since the race was only three hours, we only needed one or two drivers, so we flooded the field with other cars to run. In the end, Eric and Bill drove the LeMons racer, Ken and Ryan drove Ken's Coupe GT ITB racer, Kang and I drove Kang's Miata, and Andrew drove his Cobra.

Kang and Andrew prepare their cars for the race.

The H2R race is a typical 3-hr. wheel-to-wheel endurance race, but the catch is that competitors are only allowed one tank of fuel and there is no refueling allowed. If you go too fast, you will run out of gas and you are awarded a DNF. If you are too conservative, you won't make enough laps to win. Past races have had cars idling around the track, coasting down hills, and wagging back and forth, trying to slosh gas into the fuel pickups. In the last 20 minutes of the race, there are no tows available and the track has been littered with out-of-gas cars. A driver can try to push the car across the finish line, but those heroics are dubious, since the start finish line at H2R sits on top of a hill.

Everything but the kitchen sink lines up for the start.

There were only a few competitors, but the variety of cars was impressive. Besides our cars, there were other LeMons heaps, cars that could be mistaken for LeMons heaps, a mess of ubiquitous Miatas, a couple of nice sporty street cars (370Z, Evo IX RS), and even a Toyota Camry rental car.

The team cars lined-up together. Ken's CGT ITB racer in the foreground.

According to the rules of the race, halfway through the race, the cars would be called back in, there would be a driver change, and then the cars would race in the other direction. Bill, Ken, Andrew, and myself were first out.

Bill Fluhr resplendent in his dapper polo shirt. Is that Nomex?

Real Man of Genius. We salute you, Mr. I-brought-a-Cobra-to-a-gas-mileage-contest-guy. Yes, he would come in last place.

The green flag dropped and the race was on! And by on, I mean it started in such a lazy fashion, that by all accounts, it looked like a parade lap. Everyone was driving slowly and nobody was passing. Later, we found out that many drivers thought we were on warm-up laps and that there would be another green flag. Once everyone realized the race was really on, the pace picked-up. The LeMons Opel spun in front of me (on what he thought was a warm-up lap), but otherwise, there were very few mishaps in the race.

I followed the Camry for a long time, waiting to see the tires chunk, go away, or explode within a few laps, but it never happened. In fact, a post-race inspection showed that there was very little visible tire wear, even after completing the race and doing a post-race burnout/j-turn. The same can't be said for the tires on Ken's CGT. Ken said he started feeling a nasty vibration, so he came in to take a look. He checked the subframe bolts, control arms, swaybar mounts, and steering rack (all of which had caused problems in the past), but found nothing. Then Kang walked over, pointed at the tire, and suggested that maybe this was the problem.

Just outside of state inspection tolerances.

Everyone agreed, yes, that was probably the problem. Ken mounted-up new tires and the car was back out.

My strategy in the Miata was to short-shift and only use 4th and 5th gears, except for briefly having to use 3rd to pull-up onto the front straight. I had also reduced my braking zones down to four, although I eventually added a quick tap down into Turn 5, because I kept pushing past the apex and I was losing too much speed on the back straight. Ryan had told me to try and latch-on to the white Miata, because the driver was a past winner with a Miata and knew the best race pace. He started about half a track ahead of me, so I gambled on spending the extra fuel to catch-up to him. It took a really long time, but I finally caught him. He was going much faster than the pace I was achieving with my short-shift rules.

I trusted his pace, but of course, I had burned a lot to catch-up to him, so towards the end of my stint, I let him go. When I turned the car over to Kang, it was just under an indicated half a tank of gas. Most gauges "go below E", so I felt like we were in good shape.

Most of the interesting things start happening in the second half of the race and sure enough, it wasn't long before we saw Eric on the side of the track.

Eric gets towed off the track, while Andrew flies down the front straight.

After Eric was towed off the track, Ken took a look and found that the battery had not been properly secured, so it had fallen over, yanked the cable free, and spilled acid all over the trunk. I didn't snap a photo, but does this sound familiar? Aren't we supposed to learn from our mistakes? Ken and Bill remounted the battery, hooked it up, filled it with water, and Eric was back on track. Unfortunately, he had lost about 25 minutes.

Luckily, we weren't the only ones having problems. Team Opel was out with mechanical problems and the usually formidable Evo and Mini Cooper ran out of gas. Consumer advisory: the Mini driver said that when he ran out of gas, the trip computer still showed that he had 33 miles remaining!

The race begins to take its toll.

Still, there wasn't near as much carnage at the end as I thought there would be. I noticed the Camry coasting down the hill, but most other cars were maintaining a good pace. Even though Andrew had to pit for some issues earlier in the race, I was surprised to find him there at the end. His pace was probably slower than that of his drive home, but it was still good showing. I was happy, just because I love seeing that Cobra on the track.

Andrew losing with style.

The plan with the LeMons racer was to run it out of fuel, so there was no effort to hypermile or conserve gas in any way. We wanted the data for our long endurance race this Summer. So, once Eric got back out on track, he sprinted until the end. We figured we would either run out of gas, or win.

Eric passes Andrew at the start/finish line, while Bo gets ready to throw the checkered flag.

Unfortunately, because of the time spent in the pits, neither happened. Still, we were very happy with the results. All of the cars fundamentally held together and even performed well. Bill and Eric placed 2nd in the LeMons division, Ken and Ryan placed 3rd in the Lemons division, and Kang and myself placed 3rd in the Street Car division. Andrew came in last, but he got to drive home in the coolest car.

Kang brings home his Miata, after a podium performance.

We had a nice post-race bull session with the other drivers and the H2R guys (and Stef!). Then we packed-up and dragged our exhausted bodies to Dave & Busters for dinner and our usual debrief.

Special thanks to H2R staff for hosting a great event and allowing a bunch of non-member chiselers on their track. Also, a special thanks to Jeff and Ethan Mangels, and Matt English for coming out and cheering us on.

Jimmy

In-car Race Footage from Saturday

2010-09-19T21:24:00.005-05:00

I'm still working on a race write-up and editing footage from Sunday, but I thought this would help tide the fans over. Like most in-car footage, it's a little boring, but I tried finding a few good parts. The best is when the camera busts one of our drivers and his "plausible deniability."

Jimmy

Hell Week 2: Electric Boogaloo

2010-09-06T08:16:00.005-05:00

"If you can't beat the system...break it!"

I always thought that tag line meant stopping corporations from destroying local culture through the power of urban dance (or LeMons racing), but apparently, our team takes it to mean - if you can't figure-out a problem...make it worse! After another grueling week of working on the #7 "Raging Inferno" car every night, we arrived at Harris Hill Road for our second shake-down. After so much work, we arrived with confidence that the car would make a good showing. We had really put in the time.

The finished door bars, completed during Hell Week 2..

Ken jumped in the car for the first run. The car started and sounded great! He drove towards the track entrance and immediately did a U-turn and drove back. There was a clunking sound when he would apply the brakes. We put the car up on a jack and discovered that not only had we not bothered to tighten the brake caliper bolts (I see safety wire in our future), but we had also not bothered to bolt the steering rack to anything. C'mon guys.

The next couple of hours were spent taking the car out for a few laps at a time and then bringing it back in to try and fix the power problem. The car has a 7200 rpm limit, but it would not pull past 5500 rpm or so. The guys found a lot of things that were wrong (knock sensors wired backwards, bad coil wire), but nothing seemed to help the power. We swapped plug wires, ECU, and anything else we had in our spares box to try and help. The only things left to swap were the fuel filter, fuel pump, and fuel injectors, which we would have to do back at the hangar.

Once we gave-up on fixing the power problem, we just ran the car around the track to see if we could get anything else to break. Despite the lack of power, the car did very well. I got a head start on Eric, who was driving the 1.6 Miata chase car (equipped with coilovers), and it took a very long time for him to reel me in. So, the 90 isn't slow, it just isn't fast.

Ryan holds-up the To-Do List for the week before the race.

We will be trying to find a fix for the power problem this week, but if we had to run the car as-is, we think it will be dependable and it should make a good showing, especially if we drive it flat-out. Because that is how we drive...flatout.

Speaking of that, one of the biggest stories to come out of Hell Week 2 was that there was another explosion. No, the car didn't explode again, the team did. The stress and pressure finally got to us and there was a blow-up in the hangar one night. Unfortunately, Stef was not there that night to capture it. So, I have recreated the incident here:

Okay, maybe that wasn't EXACTLY how it went down, but no matter, the incident blew over quickly, harmony was restored, and we got back to work. Good thing, because it's race week!

Jimmy

Caraanisqatsi: Life Out of Balance

2010-09-04T10:07:00.003-05:00

Here is a short film about our final weeks of preparation before the race. Two weeks of working on the new car all night, every night. Tensions ran high, nerves were frayed, and curses exchanged. This film only begins to express the frenetic pace. The music is from the Philip Glass soundtrack to the film Koyaanisqatsi: Life Out of Balance. From the Wikipedia article: In the Hopi language, the word Koyaanisqatsi means "crazy life, life in turmoil, life out of balance, life disintegrating, a state of life that calls for another way of living".

Yeah, that about covers it.

Jimmy

Shakedown at Harris Hill Road

2010-08-31T07:14:00.005-05:00

Well, THAT went well. Hell Week paid off and we got both cars to Harris Hill Road (H2R) on Sunday for a shake-down. I was proud of the team for all of their hard work and yet, there were early signs that our efforts were still - SNAFU. For example, I was just on the verge of driving out of town with one of the cars, when I realized that nobody had bothered to put a safety harness into the car. I guess we could have taped ourselves into the seat or maybe braced ourselves while driving, but c'mon guys. So, I had to make a trip to team headquarters to pick-up the harness.

When I got to the track, Ryan and Stef were already there, so we decided to go ahead and take the old car out for a spin. That's about when we got a call from Ken saying that he had the cut-off switch key. At the time, Ken was still back in Austin prepping the new car and wouldn't be in San Marcos for a couple of hours. Sigh. Luckily, there were some race cars in the H2R garage and we borrowed a key to get going.

I took the old 90 out and Ryan followed in his Miata. The #444 Audi 90 is our veteran race car and is well-sorted and dependable. I expected it to run well, but when I got it on track, I noticed it wasn't pulling as hard as it should have. The car should have been able to pull on Ryan's 1.6 Miata in the straights, but he was glued to the back bumper. Ryan later reported that there was a bit of smoke coming from the 90, as well. Then the engine died a couple of times. The car would immediately restart on its own, but I took the car in just to have a look. I coasted to a stop and the car died. When I tried to refire the engine, there was nothing - no click, no whir, no whimper. Nothing.

We went inside to cool off and then I decided to look for the problem. I suspected maybe a wire somewhere had come loose. I thought I would start in the trunk where the battery...found it!

Nobody had bothered to secure the battery in the brackets, so the battery got thrown around out on the track and the cable finally came off. C'mon guys. This is our GOOD car.

Then the ~~bad~~ other car arrived. After a quick BBQ lunch, Ken took the red car out with Eric chasing in the #444 car. I followed in Ryan's Miata. Ken made a good showing, but he came in after only a few laps and said the car wasn't pulling as hard as it should. He couldn't get it into the high rpm range. After that, was a long day of taking the car out for a couple of laps and finding something else wrong. The car wouldn't start, it wouldn't idle, it wouldn't pull, the gauges wouldn't work right, and finally, it started leaking oil.

Mike tries to wake Eric from sleeping on the job, while Stef films.

There was some good news. All of the drivers reported that despite not yet having a rear swaybar, the red car handled very well. Also, Charles Braden, our guest driver filling-in for Andrew Bianchi, drove down from Dallas to get some seat time in the #444 car. Charles has race experience in LeMons and Chump Car, but he had never driven a quattro before, so he was able to get acclimated to the car he will be driving.

The shake-down test day was a successes - it showed us just how much more work our new car needs. Stay tuned for Hell Week II.

Jimmy

Flambé's First Test Drive

2010-08-29T01:06:00.001-05:00

We worked on the new #7 Audi 90 all day today and finally got it going late in the afternoon. We packed it up and took it to the dealer for an alignment and then we took it for a quick spin around the parking lot, which was it's first official test drive. There are still some things to be done, but the car will make it to the shake-down track day tomorrow...uh, today. Sheesh, it's late.

Down-and-dirty video here:

Jimmy

P.S. Check-out the cool R8 skeleton at the beginning of the video.

The Devil is in the Details

2010-08-27T07:01:00.012-05:00

The team made huge strides yesterday, but not without the discovery of new problems. I got a nice update from Eric this morning, which explains:

Hey, gang, good work day/night today. Thanks much to Jimmy and Ryan for taking care of the interior and getting the car significantly ready. Good job Kang making progress on the door bars. Sorry I had to cut you off due to noise and late hour.

Ken and I tackled 3 different fronts:

(1) power steering - this is now completely connected. My dad's hose worked great, and Jimmy's afternoon score of some AN-10 hose from Austin Performance was the perfect fit. Ken complete the tri-fecta by stealing the power steering bracket from the ITB Coupe, and I had a spare new power steering belt from the event where we broke on. I raided the last of Jimmy's stash of the special green hydraulic oil, but it wasn't enough and I need more to fill the reservoir before we can test it.

(2) exhaust - Ken and Kang cut out the old muffler, chopped up some of the lines, and have a plan to weld them back together to make a side-exit exhaust. It won't be as cool as the 444 car, but it will be a bit better than what was there and should suffice for the weekend (if we make it). We can eliminate the catalytic converter at some point between the test day and the event. I estimate this will take ~1.5-2 hours to completely finish up.

(3) brakes - I saved the worst news for last. First, the brake fluid reservoir has a crack and leaks, so no go on that. It wasn't leaking much, so we attempted to bleed the brakes. The first attempt on the first caliper resulted in brake fluid spurting from a couple of untightened junctions, much like a person who just had a big artery cut. We tightened those and successfully bled the front calipers. The driver's rear gave us a little more difficulty with the pedal, but nothing serious.

That was just a warning for the passenger rear, which isn't passing any fluid at all. We removed the caliper, but that isn't the problem. So, we have a bad hose or bad hard line. We couldn't remove the hose from the hard line, so I soaked it in penetrating oil and we'll try to remove it tomorrow or Saturday. The worst case scenario says that the rear hard line is bad and we have to remove and replace it. The best case scenario is a bad hose which we can change pretty easily. It was well past midnight so we gave up and called it quits. This is between 2-4 more hours worth of work.

Also, Ken and Ryan loaded the 444 car onto the trailer and Ken is driving it to work tomorrow. That way he can go in Saturday morning and "git 'er dun."

Cheers,

Eric

Ugh. I guess the previous owner didn't notice his horrific braking performance. You know, based on the condition of the clogged brakes, Mesozoic-era tires, broken gas tank venting system, and the bomb that was engineered in the engine bay, I'm looking at the possibility that somebody was looking real good for getting offed for their life insurance money (RUN kid!). I reckon this team saved his life by taking this car and I bet we get a really nice Christmas card this year.

Here are some detail photos of the cage and some of the interior stuff:

The harness bar set to the perfect height for safety.

Left-front cage support box. We only paint the cage to keep it from rusting, but it's now easily the nicest part of the car.

Right-front cage support box.

Right-rear cage support box.

One of the rear stays. The hole in the rear bulkhead will be sealed before the race.

This is the rear stay, where it is welded to a spreader plate on the suspension tower.

This is the emergency cutoff switch and the switch that runs our super-pimp power seat adjustment. Maybe next year, we will get air-conditioned seats, too. This is also a good shot of the driver's side cage support box.

I was hoping my next entry would be from the test track, but it looks like we got at least another day of work ahead of us.

Jimmy

Hell Week

2010-08-26T07:55:00.003-05:00

The team is working hard to get the cars ready for shake-down drives on Sunday. There is work scheduled for every night this week. Last night, there was some relief from the high temperatures of late, but Ken brought the heat and worked all night to weld-in the cage. For this only being their second full cage, I must say that Ken and Kang did a great job. Honestly, it's professional quality work. Well done, guys!

Now that the cage is fully installed, the rest of us can finish our jobs. We still need to finish the brakes and power steering, install the dash, instruments, seat, harness, and about thousand other things before Sunday. Can somebody bring us some water?

Jimmy

Summertime

2010-08-21T16:50:00.006-05:00

Less than three weeks until race day. Luckily, the cars are finished and we have been enjoying team excursions to the lake, where we spend the lazy Summer days swimming and enjoying pre-production samples of beer from Mike's brewery. I look around today, and everyone is looking relaxed, fit and tan. It's Ryan's turn on the iPod, so he's dialed-up some old-school hip-hop. Wives and girlfriends are talking about t-shirts for the race. Somebody says something about food as I drift in and out of sleep. Okay, I need to shake this grogginess. I'm getting hot and the lapping sound of the cool water is calling me. I stand up. Time for a swig and a dip...

...oh, shit. I was dreaming.

Let me wake-up, stumble over to our online project plan, and give a five-by-five situation report. Um, the new car is running. That's good! Well, it idles. We don't know much more than that. The exhaust is still potentially illegal for LeMons. The car still has no fenders and no doors installed. It does have a cage, though it isn't attached to the car. No seat, harnesses, or fire extinguisher. No brakes, but a critical hard line is in the mail and should be here next week. We also now have working brake lights.

A few weeks ago, I drilled a hole in the gas tank, but patched it up, so there wouldn't be an explosion or fire. Later, Eric left a seal off of the gas tank without telling anyone, so there was an explosion and fire, anyway. That's twice this car has been on fire, for those keeping track.

Ryan stands-by with a Windex bottle full of water, while Ken welds, and Stef Shrader records everything for the eventual insurance company investigation.

It's supposed to be the hottest day of the Summer today, so a few of us will be spending our afternoon in a metal box, inside a bigger metal box, which is unprotected from the Sun in any way. I'm wondering if a human can actually evaporate. I have told the team to just consider this heat conditioning for the race. Cool Shirts or not, it's going to be a scorcher.

Jimmy

Unintended Conflagration

2010-06-20T09:19:00.013-05:00

At the last LeMons race last October, it was made clear that our second car was Miata non grata at LeMons races. We were lucky to have escaped with just the 500 penalty laps and not something more grave. So, we set out to find a new second car for the race in September and happened upon another Audi 90 quattro. This one had been in a fire, was located halfway across the country in Florida, didn't run, and had a Certificate of Destruction, which means it can never have a clear title and we will never be able to trade or sell the car. This car is a one-way ticket. Legally, it's only mission left in life is to die. Perfect.

Being the slick, financial geniuses that we are, we made a deal to trade a perfectly good Coupe GT for the chunk of charcoal, packed-up a borrowed truck and hit the road. We met the owner in the middle, just outside of Gulfport, Mississippi.

Straight from www.carsofwalmart.com?

Ken, obviously super excited about the deal he has made. Mmm..okay.

After a side excursion to the Abita Beer Brewpub and a quick stop for some roadside crawfish, we got the car home and immediately began triage. I know I'm crackin' wise about the fire and the condition of the car, but honestly, how bad can it be?

Oh.

With no time to cry, we split into teams and got to work. Ken would lead the build, Eric and Andrew would work on the wiring harness, Ryan and I would be the team strippers (not nearly as interesting as it sounds), and Kang would stand around looking befuddled. To be fair, Kang is our cage specialist, so we won't need him until later. Since he had a little extra free time, he decided to get married and go on a honeymoon. Mike was temporarily occupied with his personal Audi 90, which he bought for $250 and looks like it just drove off the showroom floor. Okay, Mike might actually BE a financial genius.

This team is crazy for the Audi 90.

So far, we have spent all of our time taking the car apart or removing things from the car. Here are photos and videos of that process:

Ken tries a new process for removing sound deadening material.

Jimmy and Ryan remove the sunroof cartridge.

Eric fighting the car. Who will win?

Kang, Ryan, and Eric strip the car.

We made our bed, now Eric attempts to lie down in it.

At least the tires are good. Sigh.

Less than two weeks until the sign-up deadline for LeMons Texas; let's see where we stand:

Engine running? No.
Is the engine even complete? No.
Do we have a good wiring harness? No.
Is the safety cage in the car? No.
What about seat and harnesses? No.
Any other safety stuff done? No.
Theme? No.

So, right on schedule, I see. God, help us.

Jimmy

New LeMons Racing Car - Teaser 2

2010-05-09T23:57:00.003-05:00

This is the second teaser photo of Team Unintended Acceleration's third 24 Hours of Lemons racing car. The Miata was a great car, but it was loathed by the judges and was slower than the Audi, so it had to go. Though we may love many different cars, at our core, the team's blood runs Audi red, so the new car had to wear the ~~four~~ three-and-a-half rings.

Jimmy

New LeMons Racing Car - Teaser 1

2010-05-09T22:40:00.003-05:00

This is the first teaser photo of Team Unintended Acceleration's third 24 Hours of Lemons racing car. The car was acquired in Florida and three members of the team drove halfway across the country (really, more like a fifth or sixth of the way across the country), to pick it up. Race prep has begun and the team fully ~~expects~~ hopes that the car will be ready to compete in the LeMons Texas race at MSR Houston in September. The countdown clock has been reset. It's on!

Jimmy

Race Week!

2009-10-20T13:16:00.010-05:00

Bill, Mark, and Ryan complete final prep work on MJ Miata.

The team has rallied over the last couple of weeks and for the first time ever, we have finished the cars on time! There has even been providential help in the form of a medical miracle, which allowed Bill Fluhr to stay in Austin for the two weeks prior to the race, as well as the blessing of the team captain losing his job, which has allowed him to devote more time to the race effort. If our team continues to be this charmed over the race weekend, this will surely prove to be the greatest 24 Hours of LeMons ever!

New Theme

Jackie and Eric work on the 90's new 90's theme.

One of the remarkable things about finishing on time is that Jackie suggested a theme change for the Audi 90 at the 11th hour. I didn't think that it could be pulled-off properly in less than two weeks, but I also didn't want to discourage her participation and personal investment in the team. So, we let her go for it and thanks to her vision, leadership, and hard work...she has done it! The Audi is now the "I Love the 90's 90." Each body panel is devoted to a year of pop-culture from that decade and the dummy from the last theme will become a new character, which I will keep secret for now.

Speaking of secrets, we have a couple of surprises set for BS judging. If you can't join us for judging on Friday, we will try to have photos and video posted by Friday night.

Facebook, Twitter, etc.

Click on the Facebook icon on our home page and become a fan of the team! The Facebook fan page is the center of our team communication. Any team updates made here on our blog site will be updated (linked) to the Facebook fan page, but all live updates made from the track will go to the Facebook page only. There will also be exclusive photo content on the Facebook fan page. For those of you who prefer to follow us on Twitter, we now have an account and all of our Facebook updates will push to Twitter.

Jimmy "Wanna be Startin' Somethin'" Pribble

Press Release and Documentary Teaser

2009-10-12T21:24:00.002-05:00

The following is press release by Ryan English, originally published in the 24 Hours of LeMons forums (10.12.09). Original post is here.

Team Unintended Acceleration
We're back, we're BAD, and we're in HD

Gone but not forgotten. Twas a sad day on Thursday, June 25, 2009 when the King of Pop, Michael Jackson died. Known for their compassionate driving, Team Unintended Acceleration will be bringing an encore of the Life, Love, and Victory of Michael Jackson to the 2009 YeeHaw It’s Texas Lemons race at MSR Houston. Co-Driven by the #1 Smooth Criminal himself, we will all get to re-live the good and bad times. The fashion fads and botched plastic surgery. Random exotic animals. Flaming Pepsi sponsorship. Lover not a Fighter. It’s Black or White….yeah yeah yeah. Saturday will start out in Jackson’s early years with our original black paint job, but the planned (and unplanned) plastic surgeries which occur through the initial hours of racing along with a dramatic, and secretive skin-whitening process you will see an entirely new side of Jackson mx-5 racing on Sunday.

Prepare to be amazed by Team Unintended Acceleration’s proven driving skills, glitter gloves, moonwalks, babies held precariously, random “heeeehe!” and crotch grabbing. Judges will even get to re-enact the contoversial trial as Michael pleads his case for the $500 Miata. Their Honors alongside chief prosecutor Jay Lamm will poke and prod, pick holes in our case, and analyze the evidence after which they will get to “brand” our car with a “CONVICTED” or ACQUITTED” verdict.

Be sure to check out our HD Teaser Video:

Team Unintended Acceleration

Two Weeks Until 2009 Yee-Haw!

2009-10-09T11:49:00.011-05:00

Two weeks. TWO weeks. Actually, some of us are leaving for the race in 13 days and the cage isn't done on the Miata. It also doesn't have a dash, gauges, a seat, harnesses, a fire extinguisher, or a steering wheel for that matter. The radio isn't installed, the camera isn't installed, and the theme isn't finished. What, me worry?

Smooth Criminal

Speaking of theme, though it isn't finished, the Michael Jackson tribute theme is coming along nicely. The dummy is almost done and looks better than I had even hoped. There is a red vinyl interpretation of the "Beat It" jacket on the hood of the car, and I have almost finished the phony vanity plates. We will affix new plates for each of the three days at the track: BEAT IT, THRILLR, and another that has yet to be decided.

Our documentary effort is looking good, too. Jim Shields has already filmed a Wednesday Work Night and has a teaser trailer almost ready to go. More good news is that my pal Charles Braden (a good photographer in his own right) will be at the track on Saturday and I will be lending him the new D90 so he can shoot B-roll footage. Also, we have a new HD video camera coming that should give us in-car footage for the entire race, something we haven't been able to do in the past.

New racing radios designed to keep us out of trouble.

Wait, did I say something about radios? That's right, we secured a deal with Shawn Olsen to provide the team with very nice racing radio systems from Sampson Racing Communications. Each driver will get a helmet system with built-in microphone, there are two spotter systems with noise-canceling techmology, and each car gets a radio with an external antenna and a push-to-talk button for the driver. This is a very nice piece of kit and we are grateful to Shawn. Our fans can thank Shawn by going to the website of his store, Skandinavia Contemporary Interiors, and buying some furniture.

Jimmy "I'm Bad" Pribble

2009 Yee-Haw!

2009-09-06T15:41:00.012-05:00

As I write this, that relentless, unforgiving countdown clock at the top of the page reads 40 days until the 2009 Yee-Haw It's LeMons Texas endurance race. This year, our team will be returning with two cars, two driving teams, and a bigger crew than ever. From our entry form:

This veteran team of slow-learners returns with a plan that can only be described as (in the words of Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson) "ambitious, but rubbish." The team is bringing eight drivers (two of them new), crew (our families), a professional video producer to capture the whole glorious failure in HD, and two cars, one of which (against all grave warnings) is a Miata. The economic boon alone to the Angleton, Pearland, Lake Jackson metroplex should be reason enough to let our team grid, but we also promise to bring strong themes, clean racing, and a winning joie de vivre (even though we will lose).

We spent months searching for our second car. Ryan and I were pushing hard for a Ford Fiesta postal delivery vehicle that had been converted to be an electric vehicle. It would have been the first right-hand drive in LeMons as well as being the first EV. Plus, it was already a Ford Fiesta, which could practically qualify for LeMons, straight off the showroom floor. We would have easily won the Index of Effluency Award. But, our left-brained tech crew vetoed the idea. It looked like we were going with Mark Hergott's Audi Coupe GT, which had recently been damaged in a hail storm. That's when fate, providence, or disaster struck (we don't know which one, yet).

More photos here.

Back in May, a lady pulled-out in front of me and I plowed into the side of her car, which totaled my beloved 1997 Miata. The front was smashed and it had some frame damage, but it drove pretty good. So, we considered buying back the salvage to make our second race car. The problem was that there had been a backlash against using Miatas in LeMons. Cheating is rampant in LeMons, but the idea of a Spec Miata in the field is too much for even the most jaded competitor. In the Texas races, 100% of the People's Curse recipients have been Miatas. At best, we would risk automatic penalties, which would all but take us out of competition. At worst, Texas would collect another Miata soft-top to hang from its belt like a scalp and we would be out of the race altogether.

Luckily, except for a Jackson Racing air filter and some wheels, the car is completely stock. No suspension upgrades, brakes, or trick limited-slip differentials. I never even bothered to upgrade the plug wires and everyone does that.

So, we have decided to go for it.

The theme for the Miata will be - Michael Jackson tribute car. Among other details, we will have continuity between the two team cars by having a Michael Jackson dummy riding shotgun in the Miata, holding a dangling "Blanket" baby outside the car. We will also be repainting the car during the race weekend, so that the car races black on Saturday and white on Sunday. The car already comes with a botched nose job.

Except for the installation of a cage (which we ordered from Miatacage.com), the car is ready for a test and tune on the 25th at Harris Hill.

The Audi 90 is also mostly ready to go, but we have added some lightness, improved the cage (per new rules) and switched from a hydraulic brake booster to a vacuum booster for added reliability. This is particularly important to us, since we feel strongly that a simple broken belt kept us out of the Top 10 last time.

Jimmy "Smooth Criminal" Pribble

2009 Gator-O-Rama Race Report and Wrap-Up

2009-04-13T16:08:00.000-05:00

Some events deserve an epic narrative to tell the tale of heroism, the struggle of good vs. evil, and the search for ultimate spiritual truth. The 2009 Gator-O-Rama was not one of those events, at least not for Team Unintended Acceleration. In almost every way, this event was far easier for us, even though (and perhaps because) we had a much smaller team this time around. Also, almost everything went according to plan, which does not make for a very exciting tale. Still, we had mad fun. Here is what went down.

Friday

On Friday, Ryan and I arrived as part of the advance team and secured a covered space in the paddock. We arrived earlier than last time (and before the advertised gate opening time) and still, twenty minutes after we arrived, all the covered spaces were gone. That's cutting it close, so we might adjust our strategy next time, since we will probably have two cars. After we chatted with some of the other teams, we picked-up Kimberly from the hotel and went on a supply run. By the time we got back, the rest of the crew had arrived with the car. After we got everything unloaded, we worked on some last-minute details, like trying to apply the car numbers during wind gusts of 30 mph. Then we pushed the car through tech inspection and (ulp!) judging.

Kang and the dummy "wave" while the rest of the team applies number decals.

This is where I should take a moment to explain our new theme. Last time around, our theme wasn't much more than a clever team name that referred back to an unusual and unfortunate period of Audi history. We had originally planned a bit more involvement by having the team wear lab coats and having one of us play a 60 Minutes reporter with some scripted banter, but it was all we could do to finish the car and get it to the track, so our car ended-up being rather bland. In fact, someone from another team accused us of being too serious. By the end of the race, our theme was moot, since our last penalty was the Obama - Change We Can Believe In penalty, which required us to change our theme on the spot. We turned the car into a hippy Love Machine that espoused peace, joy and love.

For this race, we considered several different new themes, but in the end, we waited so long to put the theme to a vote that I decided it was too late to debate, and I showed-up to a team meeting one night and just said, "This is what we are doing." Luckily, everyone liked the idea!

The idea was birthed when Ken showed-up one Wednesday with a front grille from a new Audi to fit to the race car. It actually looked pretty cool. Then somebody suggested we put it on the back instead and from there, we ran with the idea. The idea is that we spun so much in our first race, we would make the back of the car look like the front of the car in order to disguise our spinning. The fake front would include a new front grille, side mirrors, and a fake driver, complete with a working steering wheel and authentic driver attitude™. We also added German flag livery on the car to give it some color. We made sure that all of the decals on the car, including our number 44, were symmetrical front to back.

We loved the result, but we could not believe how well this theme was received by everyone, especially the competitors and spectators. While we were prepping the car on Friday, a steady stream of people would come by and take pictures of the car, laughing the whole time. In his race report, my friend, Paul Costas, called it the best car in the race and said he laughed every time that he came upon it on the track. That was quite an honor. We were thrilled that everyone liked it, especially considering that it only came together in the last two weeks before the race.

The happy team. Obviously, nothing has gone wrong, yet.

So, to stay thematically correct, we pushed the car through tech and judging - backwards. The best part was that the tech inspectors kept walking to the wrong part of the car to check stuff! Then we pushed the car to the judging area and there he was - our old nemesis, cloaked in his robe of justice with the full weight of the law on his side and his name carried along the bitter winds of judgment - Judge Lieberman. The entire encounter was captured on the following video. I will warn you that because of the gale-force winds that day, the video is almost impossible to understand.

So, armed with a good car, a popular theme, happy judges, a focused team, and no penalty laps, we were ready to race. We secured our gear and headed to the local Red Lobster for dinner, before catching some anxious sleep in anticipation of the first race day.

Team UA vs. Da Judge, The Rematch. Judge Lieberman considers the case of Team UA using his likeness on their team t-shirts. He would eventually let them off with no penalties.

Saturday

The next morning was windy and bitterly cold. So, I bundled-up in my racing suit and wore it all day long. The suit is bulky and hot, which is usually a bad thing, but not on that day. Besides, we had to be in our suits to be on hot pit lane. For the last race, they had a system where the cars would come all the way off of the track and go to a designated fueling area in the paddock, which caused a dangerous traffic problem between cars and people. Somebody must have remembered that the reason hot pit lane was invented was to prevent problems like that, so we went back to the traditional pit model, which was much, much better.

Mrs. Pribble tries to keep warm on Saturday.

Just before the race began, we gathered for a team prayer and then strapped Eric into the car for the first stint of the day. We randomly began the race in 35th place out of 96 cars. Eric was very quick and climbed all the way to 8th, before our first pit stop dropped us to 36th! Despite our pit stop practice (okay, not Audi Sport levels of practice, but practice nonetheless), everything took much longer than we had anticipated, especially with regard to our radio and video equipment. I was very frustrated and swore that we would not race again without appropriate hardware. I also just plain swore. A lot.

Kang straps Ryan into the car, while Eric and Jimmy refuel.

More pit action!

Ryan got in the car and after some heroic driving, took us back up to 18th or so. Kang took us to 15th, and I ended the day in 24th. Our pitstops got better, but we were still having a hard time making any progress. Still, we were very pleased that the car had performed flawlessly and everyone had driven well, with no penalties. We secured our site and went to Chili's, where I sat through my dehydration in silent misery and had one of the worst steaks I have ever had in my life.

Sunday

Sunday started very well, with Eric absolutely blazing around the track. Here he is chasing a BMW 1600-02, which was in 2nd place at the time (we would have been in about 18th).

During this stint, Eric set our fastest time of the weekend (1:16:274). It turns out, this was the third fastest time of the race, from any car! Only a Miata and an Integra were faster. If the Fastest German (2008) award hadn't been renamed to Highest Finishing German (2009), we would have won a trophy! Success had eluded us again.

Unfortunately, just as he was about to pit, the PS belt broke and Eric lost all power steering and brakes. Eric brought the car in and Mark started pulling it apart. Some grim realities began to dawn on us. Not only had we not replaced a misaligned harmonic balancer, which is certainly what caused the broken belt in the first place, but we hadn't brought any spare belts! We always bring spare belts. We had brought spares to the last race and we even bring spares to regular driving events. Mark buttoned-up the car enough for Ryan to limp the car around the track, while Eric and Kang drove into town to get a belt.

Mark works the problem. The broken belt is on the ground.

When they returned, we called-in Ryan and began the repair. Thanks to classic German over-engineering, a simple belt replacement took over an hour. All told, we lost two hours behind the wall. We would never really recover. Ryan went back out in 40th place and we would only gain back six positions by the end of the race.

We all drove well for the rest of the race, but there was one more incident. About two laps from the end, I was approaching the carousel, when suddenly the car just died. No cough or sputter, it just died. I coasted around the carousel and pulled off track. I tried to restart the car, but the starter just cranked away. Had I run the car out of gas? I should have had plenty left, but we weren't sure the gauge was accurate. So, I just sat in the car. I could hear Ryan on the radio telling me to stay calm, but I was fine. At that point in the race, the failure didn't amount to anything. They finally threw the checkered flag and on the last lap, I waved and everyone honked back in reply. When the track was clear, they towed me off. And that was how we ended our race.

Jimmy takes the checkered flag (sort of).

Jimmy waves at thousands of invisible, imaginary fans.

Ryan celebrates a penalty free race, while the crew helps Jimmy out of the car.

There is a theory that says a race car should expire the instant it crosses the finish line. So, our car was just a little early. Except for the belt failure (which was fully our own fault), the car had performed brilliantly. It was faster than ever, had seemingly limitless grip, and composed manners. Even the last failure wasn't a failure at all. It was, if I dare say it...a miracle? Weeks before the race, we had accidentally disconnected the fuel pump wiring, which was bundled in a mass of other wires in the back of the car. Somehow, in that mass of wiring, the fuel pump wires had fallen so that the two connectors rested against each other and allowed the fuel pump to operate. Despite the jostling and vibration, the connectors had rested together for street driving, a test day at Harris Hill, and for 99% of the 24 Hours of LeMons, before finally separating and causing the car to stop. It's mind blowing to think of how it could have lasted as long as it did.

Jay with our sponsored trophy.

At the award ceremony, Jay Lamm awarded our very own Unintended Acceleration Uber-Recidivist Trophy, which the team had put together. The trophy was a starter motor, mounted to a wooden base, in memory of the Lexus Starter Motor Challenge. Ken had welded it, Eric assembled it, and Angela and Kimberly made the label for it, using a luggage tag that I had bought. Jay awarded it to the team with the most number of penalties (and who didn't quit), so it went to the Los Diablos, who drove an old '74 Camaro. They seemed like a great bunch of guys and I used to have a '75 Camaro like theirs, so I was happy the award went to them.

Then we got a surprise of our own. The judges got up and gave us a special Judges Choice Award for being the most improved team, having gone from one of the most penalized team in LeMons history to having zero penalties. The award? In the spirit of all cash awards being in nickels, Jonny handed us - one nickel. It was quite an honor.

A shiny new nickel!

The Future

The next race is the weekend of October 24,25 and we can't wait. The doomsday...I mean, countdown clock has been reset. The next race will see the full Unintended Acceleration team brought to bear with two cars, eight drivers and a full support crew. Late braking news is that the second car will be an Audi Coupe GT. Stay tuned for build news.

Editorial note: I have incorporated photos and videos into this report, from earlier posts and have deleted the earlier, redundant posts. I also reserve the right to ninja-edit the following list, if new stuff gets posted to the Internets, or if it otherwise comes to my attention.

LINK FLOOD OF RACE COVERAGE

Final Race Results

Results: MyLaps

Photos

Eric's photos: Fluhr Hotel

Video

Team Unintended Acceleration Channel: Vimeo

Other Race Coverage and Misc

Jalopnik: Tag search: Gator-O-Rama: Jalopnik

Speed:Sport:Life: Tag search: Houston Gator-O-Rama: Speed:Sport:Life

Witchdoctor Motorsports Write-Up: Witchdoctor

Formula M Write-Up: AICMC Forum

Jimmy

2009 Gator-O-Rama In-Car Clips

2009-03-05T22:28:00.000-06:00

This was in-car footage shot by Team Unintended Acceleration, during the 2009 24 Hours of LeMons Gator-O-Rama. This is a compilation of clips from several different drivers on the team.

I did not attribute or mark these clips, so feel free to use them in your own compilation videos. Send me a note for special requests or better quality clips and I will do my best to accommodate you.

Obviously, I would be interested in any photos or videos of our car (#44 Audi) from this event. Thanks!

2009 Gator-O-Rama In-Car Clips from Jimmy Pribble on Vimeo.

Integra vs. Wheel

2009-03-02T19:40:00.000-06:00

This was in-car footage shot by Team Unintended Acceleration, during the 2009 24 Hours of LeMons Gator-O-Rama. This must be one of the most unusual accidents in LeMons history. A BMW 325i loses a rear wheel in a turn and an overtaking Integra hits the wheel and is launched into the air! The Integra then drives across the grass and unto the track as if totally unperturbed by the event!

I will edit these details as more facts become known to me.

Integra vs. Wheel from Jimmy Pribble on Vimeo.

Jimmy

2009 Gator-O-Rama Post Race Coverage Begins

2009-03-02T11:52:00.000-06:00

Team Unintended Acceleration had an exciting race weekend and my write-up and photo/video coverage is forthcoming. Until then, enjoy the media coverage from other outlets. The photos below come from Zerin Dube's site. Zerin, our friend from the early Austin Audi/VW club days, was a guest judge at this event, but we never saw him because we never got in trouble! Sorry for not getting by to say hi, Zerin; hopefully, you won't sue me for using your photos.

SpeedSportLife.com coverage of the 2009 Gator-O-Rama (with massive photo galleries):
http://www.speedsportlife.com/tag/houston-gator-o-rama/

Selected photos of our team:

Eric going into Turn 1 with the Los Diablos Camaro. This team would be the eventual recipient of our Team Unintended Acceleration Über-Recidivist Trophy.

2009-03-01T18:12:00.001-06:00

24 HoL: Final live report. 34th place. Met our goal of zero penalties, we just couldn't overcome the mechanical setbacks.

2009-03-01T13:30:00.001-06:00

24 HoL: Two hours behind the wall, because our PS belt snapped. 38th place. Sigh. Kang about to get in the car.

2009-03-01T10:50:00.001-06:00

24 HoL: Eric has got us to 18th. Ryan about to get into the car. All is going well, though a couple of scary moments. Also,c-c-c-cold.

2009-02-28T20:04:00.001-06:00

24 HoL: I'm exhausted. Ryan said I climbed as high as 13th, but ultimately ended-up 20th for the day. Still, we have had no penalties and the car is amaz

2009-02-28T16:19:00.001-06:00

24 HoL: 15th place. It's like déjà vu all over again. I'm about to get into the car for our final stint of the day.

2009-02-28T15:31:00.001-06:00

24 HoL: Ryan clawed us back to 16th. Kang is in the car now. Second pitstop was better.

2009-02-28T14:11:00.001-06:00

24 HoL: A slow first pitstop dropped us to 28th. Car and drivers are still running well.

2009-02-28T13:10:00.001-06:00

24 HoL: 15th place!

2009-02-28T13:07:00.001-06:00

24 HoL: 19th place, two laps off the leader. Ryan is about to get into the car.

2009-02-28T12:42:00.001-06:00

24 HoL: Eric randomly started in 49th/96. Still on lead lap. All is well with us, but lots of early attrition.

2009-02-27T15:17:00.001-06:00

24 HoL: UA LeMons race car passed tech inspection and judging by Loverman and Martin with NO penalties. We are ready to race tomorrow!

2009-02-27T08:06:00.001-06:00

24 HoL: UA Advance Team: base camp established. Better paddock position than last year. Favorable weather conditions. End report.

2009 LeMons Schedule

2008-11-16T15:43:00.000-06:00

The clock has been reset and is counting down! The rumor has been confirmed and there will be two Texas LeMons in 2009. The schedule is as follows:

Feb 28-March 1: MSR Houston, Angleton TX
Oct 24-25: MSR Houston, Angleton TX

I haven't heard back from everyone yet, but I think Team Unintended Acceleration will be running both races. Watch this space for further news.

Jimmy

2008 Wrap-Up

2008-10-28T16:54:00.000-05:00

I am fully into my post-race depression. After months of pouring so much time, effort, money, and emotions into the team, I find myself walking around in a bit of a stupor, now that there isn't anything to do. I have been reading race blogs, watching YouTube, reading the Jalopnik coverage, and editing together team videos as a way to artificially keep the excitement up, but coming down is an unavoidable part of the ride. I probably just need to get a track event on the calendar ASAP. The problem is - what is a regular HPDE going to feel like now that I have taken a hit off of the racing crack pipe?

Yesterday was the team "wrap party" at Eric's house, so I will try to wrap-up the online coverage, too.

Here is my compilation video "Team Unintended Acceleration vs. Da Judge." Thematically, I concentrated on our troubles with the Texas-style justice at the race, rather than our driving successes. It's just funnier that way. Oh yeah, and we didn't have any driving successes.

RANDOM MEMORIES, THOUGHTS, AND OBSERVATIONS THAT DIDN'T MAKE IT IN THE ORIGINAL BLOG POSTS

On the way to Houston, Lily told Ryan and me that she really wanted to help the team in any way that she could. "I'll even grease your tires, or whatever." Bless her heart, she failed the crew interview, but Ryan says that he is going to marry her anyway.

Eric started the race in 24th and finished in 10th, with the fast lap of the day: 1:21.153.

Andrew started Saturday in 27th, but ended his stint in 8th. Better yet, he was in 7th place for three laps, which was our highest position of the race.

Ryan also started in 27th (after Andrew's alleged penalty), but brought us back to 8th.

Kang started in 25th (after Ryan's penalty) and fought his way up to 23rd.

I started my Saturday session in 26th (after Kang's penalty) and finished in 21st.

After my one hour penalty on Sunday morning, Ken started in 31st and finished in 23rd. After his penalty, we dropped like a rock to 34th (our lowest position), before making a steady climb to finish in 25th. Yes, that's right, we started in 24th and finished in 25th. I think we can do better.

Ken has been getting a lot of praise for his work part in pulling the Lexus starter. And he deserves some of it. But, much like the controversial flag-raising photograph on Iwo Jima, the iconic photograph of Ken, starter held over his head in triumph, might not tell the whole story. For historical accuracy, I submit this:

In this photo, you can see the team captain is the first on the scene, and is on his knees, searching for the Lexus starter, while our hero...is eating a sandwich. That's right...leisurely eating a sandwich. Does the photograph tell the whole story? Perhaps not, but I also submit these:

In these photos, you can see Ken practicing his special brand of "heroism" a few years ago, by eating a sandwich, while somebody else is under the car making repairs for a race (in this case, the One Lap of America). I'm not trying to start any trouble, but I am suggesting that Ken has a very, very good press agent.

Now that I have had a little fun at Ken's expense, I should point-out that when Ken arrived on Sunday (jet-lagged and tired from a Las Vegas bachelor party), we joked around that we had flown-in our fastest driver. Well, it turned-out that we really had! Ken set our fastest lap time of the race with a 1:21.105. Kenny cool.

There is a rumor that there will be two Texas LeMons races next year. That's funny, because there is rumor that we will be running two teams next year.

LINK FLOOD OF RACE COVERAGE

Final Race Results

Results: MyLaps

Photos

Eric's Photos: Fluhr Hotel

Kang's Photos: Flickr

Jimmy's Photos: Flickr

Video

My primary video got leaked to the press (yes, I leaked it) and was published here: "Team Unintended Acceleration vs. Da Judge" at Autofiends

The imbedded YouTube video (same as above) is here: YouTube

The CRX tire wall incident (interesting comments): YouTube

Kang getting lost and the Ozzy Horn punishment: YouTube

Footage from the Lemonade team. Around the 1:40 mark, you can see our car trailing two cars going onto the front straight. We pass them both by the chicane: YouTube

Other Race Coverage and Misc

Jalopnik: Top 70 Cars of 24 HoL Texas: Jalopnik

Jalopnik: Innovations In LeMons Penalties: McCain's Uphill Slog, Obama's Change We Can Believe In: Jalopnik

Jalopnik: Advances in LeMons Penalty Cruelty: The Lexus Starter Removal Challenge! This article highlights our team and perhaps our proudest moment of the race: Jalopnik

Jalopnik: The Yeehaw it's Texas 24 HoL Uber Gallery: Jalopnik

Jalopnik: Tag search: 24-Hours-Of-Lemons-Texas: Jalopnik

Autofiend: Tag search: 24-hours-of-lemons-whats-new: Autofiend

Witchdoctor Motorsports Write-Up: Witchdoctor

The thread that started it all: Texas Audi Group

See you next year!

Jimmy

P.S. I reserve the right to ninja-edit this post if new stuff gets posted to the Internets.

24 HoL: Sunday (Fear and Loathing in Houston, Texas)

2008-10-21T10:13:00.000-05:00

Note: I just saw the final lap results and realized that our mistakes cost us more dearly than I had originally thought. I was basing my earlier comments on the standings posted at the scoring table, which are just snapshots. It turns out that on Saturday, we were running as high as 7th place and in fact, ran in the top ten for 20% of the race. I'll be back later after I have a good cry.

After climbing six places late on Saturday, the team was excited to get on track Sunday morning and continue the momentum that we had built. But at the drivers meeting that morning, Jay dropped the hammer on us. It went something like this, "Good morning everyone! Who is team number four?" We raised our hands.

"Oh, that's too bad. You could have slept-in this morning," he said. Everyone laughed.

It turns out that we had been busted for two mistakes that I made in the last three minutes of the race on Saturday. As the sun had dropped on Saturday afternoon, I was having trouble seeing the corner leading to the front straight. We had never bothered cleaning the windshield, so the glare was impossible to see through. For the last 15 minutes of the race, I could see the apex of the corner, but not the cars leading me. If somebody really checked their speed there, I probably would have rear-ended them. It was pretty bad. Then in the last couple of laps, I couldn't see anything, so I finally made a mistake, early-apexed and hit a cone on the way out. I went around one more time, expecting to see a black flag, but they didn't throw it. Then on the very last lap, I got really lost in the corner and when I finally could see, I was all out of shape and heading for the grass (which would have been a penalty), so I lifted and spun. I put both feet in, did a 270° spin, saw the cop car out of my side window, and then quickly put the car in reverse and got out of the way of traffic. As soon as the train had passed, I took the checkered flag for the day.

Damned PIT maneuver!

Nobody stopped us or said anything to us in the paddock, so we thought we had gotten away with it. Wrong. Somehow I escaped spinning the Wheel of Misfortune, but for the rest of the morning, our car looked like this:

Since Ken had missed Saturday, I asked him to drive first and do a double stint to make-up for his lost time without having to come in for a second driver change. We also sent him out with a cell phone and headset, since we couldn't get our radios to work dependably. Like us, Ken had never seen the track before, so Eric talked him through his session, spotted for him, and called-out yellow flags, which seemed to be our biggest problem. Ken ran very well. Here is some footage from his session:

Unfortunately, the cell phones were also undependable (as were our hand signals), so just a lap after Ken asked to come in, he kicked a cone and they black flagged him. He came in and they were none to happy to see us after warning us so strongly that morning. They started talking about the Sands of Time penalty, whereby they pour metal shavings into the oil filler. Our race would be over for sure. Luckily, it was time for the People's Curse Award and the judges had to run off for that, so they told us to go watch the poor Miata being destroyed and then we would regroup and they would decide our fate.

The People's Curse: an alleged "cheater" Miata pays the ultimate price.

After completely destroying the Miata, the judges must have felt something unusual coming from their cold, black, dead hearts...a feeling...of mercy. Either that, or it was heartburn from the steaks and shrimp they had taken as bribes the day before. Either way, they chose not to destroy our car, but rather they set us to work. Our punishment was to remove the starter motor from a competitor's dead car - a Lexus LS400.

We sprinted back to our paddock and grabbed our tools, jacks, and jack stands. In seconds we had the car up on jacks so that somebody could crawl under the car and look for the starter. After a few minutes of not being able to find the starter, it started to dawn on us that there was more to this challenge than we first thought. I grabbed my iPhone and started searching. After a few minutes, I discovered the cruel truth - the starter motor is underneath the intake manifold. I yelled this to the team, but they had already figured it out.

We dove in. Eric and Ken led the charge and Mark and I did our best to keep up. Everyone else on the team was bringing us tools as fast as we could call for them. The Lexus guys were standing around saying that the shop time for removing a starter motor is 5.6 hours. ORLY? We said, "Well, stand back, the Germans are here."

I have to admit that it was a good challenge. The intake manifold was only the beginning. The fuel rail started puking gasoline everywhere, some of the electrical connectors had hardened and stuck together, and worse, everything that needed to be removed, required two other things to be removed first. Those nefarious judges knew exactly what they were doing. Still, we pressed-on and in less than 40 minutes, to the amazement of the small crowd that had gathered, we had done it!

Ken holds the Lexus starter victoriously, while Eric celebrates.

The team celebrates removing a Lexus starter in less than 40 minutes. Lexus owners, if you didn't already know it, your dealer is ripping you off!

After presenting the judge with the starter, we immediately sent Andrew to drive his stint. Andrew drove flawlessly and Eric followed with another excellent stint. At one point, we had a heart-stopping moment when Eric hit a cone, but we think the marshal saw that Eric was forced into it (even if he had put himself in a precarious position) and they didn't black flag him. Eric came in, we refueled, put Ryan in the car and sent him out.

Almost immediately, they black flagged him. I couldn't believe it. When he pulled in, he said they told him something was leaking from the car. That's when I saw the gas running down the side of the car from the filler door. I opened it, checked the gas cap and it was loose. I cranked it tight and sent him on his way.

Ryan drove a great stint and then handed the car off to Kang. Both Eric and Ryan were complaining about the track being slick and maybe our tires were going away a bit. They both warned everyone to be careful, especially around Turn 1. We strapped Kang into the car, he took off, and then...promptly spun the car on Turn 1. Oh boy. He brought the car in and was rewarded with the Barack Obama Change We Can Believe In Penalty. We had to change the theme of our car with hammers and spray paint. We went for a hippie-style Peace, Joy and Love theme. It wasn't pretty and for the second time in two days, I got to drive the car after our car was redecorated for something that Kang did.

After we re-themed our car, I was about to make a bad decision to change the tires, but my friend Paul Costas was there and he insisted that I didn't need tires, but I needed laps. He got my head straight with some quick coaching and I jumped in the car to try and get the damned thing to the checkered flag.

The track was much more slippery than the afternoon before and I could see how Kang would have spun the car. I backed-off my previous pace and let anybody just have an easy pass, if they wanted one. I couldn't have done much to stop them anyway. It wasn't as much fun as the day before, but I felt good that I was doing my job for the team. I let Paul's Bikini Racer Camaro (driven by the actual Bikini Racer) through, because they were in 2nd Place, and I latched myself onto her bumper and shepherded her to the finish, lest anyone give her any trouble. We took the checkered flag under yellow.

It is accomplished.

Final Results:

Laps

Photo and Video Links:

Eric's Photos

Kang's Photos

Jimmy's Photos

Jalopnik Coverage:

Top 70 Lemons

I will probably make a couple more posts wrapping things up with some final thoughts and a look towards next year, before taking a hiatus until the 2009 preparation. I will also be putting together a video compilation from all of our footage, so stay tuned for that as well.

Jimmy

24 HoL: Saturday (Black Flagstravaganza)

2008-10-18T21:59:00.000-05:00

Fantastic day! After an hour or so, we were as high as 13th out of 75 teams, but we suffered a couple of penalties throughout the day, which caused us to fall in the standings. I don't mean to throw my teammates under the bus here, but...I'm going to anyway:

Andrew - two wheels off - bribed our way out of it by bringing the judges four iced teas.

Ryan - passing under yellow and team arguing - 30 minutes out of the race and the Ozzie Osbourne Inertia Penalty Horn.

Kang - passing under yellow - "Barnyard" (had a metal rooster welded to our roof). We escaped another 30 minute penalty by bribing the judges with a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Updated with video (10.21.08):

The penalties really killed us. We went from 13th, to 14th, to 23rd, and to 26th, before managing to claw our way back to 20th at the end of the day. Worse, the judges told us that if we incurred one more penalty, we would be out of the race. Uh oh. Despite the risk of throwing it all away, we hung it out there and were rewarded with a better position going into Sunday.

Okay, I really gotta get some sleep. More news tomorrow.

Jimmy

24 HoL: Friday Inspection and Practice

2008-10-17T22:16:00.000-05:00

Tech Inspectors check our work.

We had a great day today. Ryan, Lily and I got to the track early and secured one of the last covered paddock spaces. That score alone will change our entire weekend. After the car arrived in the afternoon, we flew through tech inspection (with only one minor fix that we had to make), and then we went through the BS Judging.

Jay Lamm has a good laugh at our phony paperwork.

We tried to put-off the BS Judging, because our legitimate paperwork was with Jackie and wouldn't be at the track until the next day. But they said we had to go through, so I showed Jay some made-up spreadsheet and Ryan showed him the "Before" photos from this blog and we got through clean - no bribes given.

After we got through the BS Judging, we started to cycle drivers out on the track for practice. Everyone did really well learning the new track and we all ended-up within a couple of seconds of each other's times. We also got to practice driver changes, which seemed like they were taking a long time, but which were only taking a minute and a half.

Most interesting was how Eric has been preaching about driving conservatively, yet in the practice event (not even the real race), we saw him get the red mist and drive like a maniac to catch some vehicle called the Crapsman Racing Truck! Ryan caught him on video passing two other cars down the front straight as well. Conservative - sure.

Eric heads-out to scare people.

Sorry for the short update, but I'm off to get some sleep. The race begins tomorrow and so will the cryptic updates to this blog. Stay tuned!

Jalopnik also has good coverage of this race.

Jimmy

The Final Countdown

2008-10-16T09:52:00.000-05:00

Last night was a mad flurry of last-minute activity. Bill got into town and true to his nature, jumped into work with both feet. Halfway through the evening, we suffered a potentially major setback - we finally saw the spare wheels that had been delivered from Florida and realized that they were not the 15" wheels we needed, but rather useless 14" wheels. Some quick thinking by Ken and we found another set of wheels at the last minute. Disaster averted. Ken and I still managed to get into a fight, but by the end of the night, the team had pulled together as a single unified...uh, unit.

Anyway, we decided that our loud exhaust was too much at risk of getting busted, so we cut it off and welded on a real muffler (with a turn-down, just for good measure). We ended the night with a team meeting and Ryan and I were finally able to surprise everyone with the team t-shirts.

This is probably my last post before the race on Saturday. I will TRY to do live updates from the race via iPhone. They will probably be very cryptic, but they should contain our overall condition and position in the race. Wish us luck; as a friend of mine pointed-out, that is probably the single best resource to have in a race like this.

Jimmy

Shakedown Event at MSR

2008-10-12T22:23:00.000-05:00

Eric and Ryan took the car to MSR on Saturday for a shakedown run. They ran the car for five sessions and reported no significant problems whatsoever! The car didn't overheat, the fan and fan switch worked perfectly, the seating and steering position was comfortable, and the car handled reasonably well. There were a few minor problems. The brakes are unbalanced, so they found it too easy to lock the fronts. Also, the car is slow. But none of that really matters. The most important thing is that we have a dependable car, because if we want to place in the top ten (our goal for this year), we need to be there at the end.

We are thrilled at the good news and hope to carry that excitement through this last week of preparation before the race.

Right before loading the car onto the trailer, I added the pièce de résistance - the four rings on our new mono-grille.

Loaded-up and ready to go.

Eric and I broke bread and made peace after months of disagreeing on every...single...aspect...of the race car build. :-)

Ryan shakin' it down.

MSR Photos Here

MSR Video Here

Special thanks go out to Rick Schwalenberg at The Drivers Edge.

Jimmy

Working for the Weekend

2008-10-09T09:07:00.000-05:00

Despite the best efforts of our Fan-Switch Dept. to grind productivity to a halt, nothing could stop the juggernaut that is the willpower of the rest of the team and just before midnight last night, the car was declared ready for the weekend MSR test-and-tune.

The evening was not without a couple of setbacks, though; one of them being surprising and potentially serious. The first was simply that the fire extinguisher bracket that I had ordered was wrong. I have no idea how I goofed that up, but it is the simple things that can end-up being so frustrating. A more serious problem is that our exhaust system failed the sound level test. At WOT, we are way over the limit. Without any spare mufflers around the shop, we resorted to an (untested) solution that is deep in the weeds of "grassroots" - we did the ~~banana~~ steel wool in the tailpipe trick.

At best, we will be able to pass the sound level test and be allowed to put the car on the track. At worst, we will shoot molten stainless steel at competitors who choose to pass us on the right. Whatever, it serves 'em right.

I put batteries in my camera this time and took some snaps of the car in it's (almost) finished state:

The cow-catcher.

Since the national debt clock can't keep-up anymore, I'm thinking of buying it for the team and converting it to keep track of the number of hours it takes for Eric to wire a fan switch. Here he is on hour 9, 345, 451, 029, 482 (yes, it took him nine trillion hours). Also, note the license plate cooling ducts for the oil cooler. Kitschy.

The cockpit. That's right, we're sportin' wood in our race car!

A good shot showing the sealed fuel bulkhead, the rear wiring, and some of the cage work.

Kang and Ryan attach the huge "bigmouth" grille, in keeping with Audi's current styling trend. I think it updates the looks of the car nicely.

Jimmy

10.07 Update

2008-10-07T10:05:00.000-05:00

Eleven days until the race, but I am feeling much better about our progress. Everyone has worked really hard and the 90 is finally starting to look like a ~~death trap~~ race car. I was going to post a photo flood of our finished work, but when I went to snap the first photo last night, the camera started prattling something about the batteries and then shut off. Okay, I'll take pictures on Wednesday. Until then, I'm afraid that you will just have to read words. Yes I know, I feel the same way.

Several weeks ago, we decided that working just on Wednesday nights wasn't going to be enough. So, everyone started working whenever they could, with some of us working on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and others working on weekends. Here is Eric's latest update (recently declassified) from a few days ago, to show the kind of stuff we have been working on:

This was a pretty good weekend for front-end progress. Ryan helped me on Friday night, Andrew helped on Saturday, and I spent Sunday night all by my lonesome self out there. Things we got done:

Radiator flushed, installed & hoses clamped
Radiator fan wired up CLASSIFIED and connected to the low-speed switch (had a mistake on Saturday night with it on the
high-speed switch, and we boiled over the cooling system; still
need to test that)
Alternator installed, with hokey belt found on Jimmy's workbench,and verified working
Secondary support fabricated for driver's-side hood latch frame
Adjusted hood, now it works but is sticky when unlatching so you
have to pull up a bit on it when releasing the locks
Front motor mount fabrication complete
Front lower grill manufactured, will install with zip-ties later
Started and ran engine for 10 minutes before boiling coolant for
aformentioned radiator fan issue, worked a bit on the
vacuum lines

To-dos:
Pull radiator and weld a corner wedge brace to the driver's side frame rail, re-install radiator
Get and install the correct alternator belt
Finish wiring for radiator fan (have to properly route and support the new wires)
Build manual radiator fan override
Install battery cut-off switch
Fabricate bracket for midde hood support to lower front frame
Cut upper grill pieces (new front frame to upper hood support)
Modify passenger side front bumper/mount (one of the holes is
misaligned)
Finish sorting out vacuum lines
Order front brake pads from Tirerack; install and flush brakes with Valvoline synthetic fluid
Install oil cooler
Add additional front frame and wheel-well bracing

Our most exciting news is that we finished our very first roll cage! That was a major boost to team morale. The cage is a little sloppy in some areas, but overall, I think it's pretty good for our first effort. We learned a lot of lessons that we will apply when we eventually build a cage for my car. Still, the cage is strong...[Russian] strong like bear. [/Russian]

Ken went for a very brief test drive on Friday and did some full-throttle pulls to 80 mph. He said that once the car is warm, it runs fine. Unfortunately, he said that the car handles poorly, which isn't surprising considering that the frame still looks like an accordion and he was only barely able to bring it within alignment spec. I noticed last night that our upper strut mounts are blown to smithereens, as well. Finally, Ken said that we might have problems with locking the brakes. Without a functioning ABS system and no time/money to install a brake bias valve, it will be really easy to lock the brakes. We will have to be careful.

Our plan now is to have the car race ready by this Wednesday, so that Ryan and Eric can take it to a one-day track event at MSR this weekend for a test and tune. Then we will have one week to address any issues that they find. Luckily, Bill (our "closer") will be here early next week to help with the final sorting. If anybody can bring it in under the wire, he can.

Oh look, I found a photo! This is Andrew practicing his reaction to another car getting under him in a corner.

"Aaaaaahhh! Where did he come from?"

Jimmy

Our First Cage (Part 3)

2008-09-15T23:54:00.001-05:00

Ken welds-in base plates for the cage.

Meanwhile, underneath the car, Mark watches for fire. Say, isn't that the fuel pump right there?

Jimmy

Our First Cage (Part 2)

2008-09-12T04:15:00.000-05:00

After getting the main hoop and front hoops bent, it was time to learn how to use the tubing notcher. Ken knows how to use one, but he was off attending his cousin's wedding. So on Wednesday, Kang, Andrew, and Mark jumped-in and notched the tubes for the main parts of the cage.

Perfect fit!

As usual, I had banished myself to wiring purgatory. I'll have a report on that soon.

Jimmy

Our First Roll Cage (Part 1)

2008-09-06T13:29:00.000-05:00

After briefly toying with the idea of paying for a roll cage, we decided there was no better time to jump-in and buy the equipment that we need to build our own. The LeMons car is the perfect practice vehicle. The rules aren't very strict, so it will easy to conform, even if we make some minor mistakes.

We decided upon the MidAmerican EZ Bend tubing bender and we couldn't be happier with its quality, performance, and price. For anyone following in our footsteps, be advised that Craftsman makes a generic tool stand (see photo below) that is a perfect fit for the EZ Bend.

The debate that preceded the bending of the main hoop was typical for our team - it was lengthy and loud. If our team has a problem, it is that we have a 2:1 debate to work ratio. I have to give Kang credit for pushing us forward. I think other team members, in fear of turning a $66 piece of steel tubing into a worthless pretzel, went into analysis paralysis. But it was Kang who remained steadfast and insisted that we had it figured-out already and we needed to man-up and start bending.

Kang looks confident, while Eric keeps things steady, and Ken (working the foot pedal) looks dubious.

Kang carefully checks the angle.

Hoop! Our first main hoop!

I couldn't be happier with our first attempt at a main hoop. It fit almost as well as we had hoped on our very first try. I was honestly expecting to have to make two or three before we made one that worked. I'm very proud of my team. Still, that was only the beginning. We still have the front roll hoops to bend, door bars to make, mounting plates to be welded. Also, the seat still needs to be mounted and the front-end needs to be finished. Then we need to make sure the car runs. The race is in 40 days. I'm shitting myself.

Jimmy

08.21 Progress Report

2008-08-21T08:32:00.000-05:00

Okay, I promised I would post more often, so here we go. I'm going to skip most of the narrative this time and just post a photo flood that will catch our fans up to where we are.

The new exhaust. Except for the bracing, this was made with 100% genuine Audi parts, including the cool ovalized tip, which Ken fabricated from an old muffler.

Ryan tries to make the racing seat work with a combination of the stock slider and a custom slider made for a Miata, while Ken consults. I guess Ken was really tired that day. Or, he is super deep in thought about who knows what.

Uh oh.

Jimmy imagineers a McLaren-style center seating position that optimizes chassis weight balance and driver safety. This was after hours in a blazing hot hanger, breathing who-knows-what kind of fumes from stripping sound deadening material from the interior of the car. The team is worried about Jimmy.

Eric welds the inner fender liner back together.

After a long night of work, Ryan chugs a beer, while Eric cheers him on. Actually, the drivers are in training for the race, so it's not really a beer - it's a vitamin water. Now, instead of falling down or getting into a fight, Ryan just goes back to working on the car (except with more B supplements).

Hmmm, must remember to take more pictures of Kang and Andrew.

Bill gets here on Friday and we all know what that means - the whip starts crackin'! We also just took delivery of the new tube bender, so we can finally get started on the rollcage.

Jimmy

We're In!

2008-08-12T00:09:00.001-05:00

I just got the email today announcing that we have been accepted into the 24 hours of LeMons! I'm not sure if that is good news or not...yet. But, it is another excuse that has vanished...I mean, a barrier that has been overcome!

Jimmy towing the 90 to the Audi dealership.

A couple of weeks ago, we eliminated another potentially major barrier by taking the car to the dealership and having it aligned. Despite having frame damage front and rear, Ken was able to get the car into acceptable alignment specs, so we lost that excuse to bail out of the race.

Ken aligning the 90.

Then we had a moment of discouragement, when the whole endeavor just seemed a little too overwhelming. But, the team pulled back together, recommitted to the project, and resolved to be more organized. Since then we have developed an online critical path document, promised better communication (I'm not supposed to scream at Eric as much), and we even had a real team meeting. Usually, our team meetings take place at 10:30 pm on Wednesday nights at Chuy's, when we are exhausted after working on the car all night. Also, at least one person in the group is usually mad about something by then, so it's not always very productive and I usually just spend my time shoveling chips and creamy jalapeño sauce into my pie-hole as fast as I can, before nodding-off in my Chicka-Chika-Boom-Boom enchiladas. I think the new team style is much better.

Oh, part of the new style is to update this blog more often. So, look for that to improve as well.

Jimmy

Audi 90 Revealed!

2008-04-19T20:03:00.000-05:00

Our LeMons race car was under our noses all along...and here it is!

She's a beaut! This is Eric's 1990 Audi 90 20V quattro, that has obviously suffered from a botched rhinoplasty. While Ken was driving the car, it unintentionally accelerated into another car. It was a total loss, but Eric bought it back from the insurance company for $350. That's not bad, but it only leaves us $150 to get it put back together again. We haven't done a complete Morbidity & Mortality Report, but we know the frame is...er, tweaked. We are hoping that a Ford F-250, some chain, and a tree will help us un-tweak it. We'll see. Anyway, let's go ahead and run it down:

The Good:

It runs.
It has quattro and a good aftermarket suspension, so it handles well.
It has adequate brakes, so no need to upgrade.
It has a large gas tank for a car of its size.
It runs.

The Bad:

There is severe front-end damage (to what degree isn't fully known).
The frame is bent.
On a good day, it is very slow.
Technically, this car wasn't made in the Unintended Acceleration (UA) years, which sort of kills our theme (but only if you care about stuff like...facts). For that matter, only the Audi 5000 was ever accused of UA, so the Audi 4000 wasn't correct, either. Hell, you didn't really think we would be crazy enough to drive an Audi 5000, did you?

I'm dying to start tearing into this car, but unfortunately, we have to get rid of the two 4000s before we can begin. I'll report on our progress as soon as I can.

Jimmy

Audi 400 Revealed!

2008-04-10T09:38:00.001-05:00

Bill arrived safely from Florida with our race car...and here it is!

Oh dear.

According to a sticker emblazoned across the rear windshield, this car claims to have once attended the University of Delaware. It also seems to be declaring some sort of sporting aspiration by wearing a single alloy "teardrop" wheel from a Volkswagen GTI 16V. But this is no smart, sporty car. No. It is unencumbered with frivolous niceties like doorhandles, lights, or...a motor. It is literally held together with tape and bits of rope.

The truth is that this car looks exactly like a what a LeMons race car should look like, except for the part about the motor. That's a problem. Even dealing in the world of $500 beaters, rule number one is to start with a running car. So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, we have abandoned the idea of running the Audi 400(0) and have selected another car, which I will reveal next week.

Jimmy

Under Cover

2008-03-23T22:44:00.001-05:00

Bill Fluhr, our man in Florida, sent us our first photo of the car. Bill is preparing it for the 1200 mile journey to Texas next week.

Why bother covering a $100 car? Several reasons. Just like a wild animal, the Audi 400 is more calm when it is blindfolded. Also, it keeps away the prying eyes of our competition. No point in revealing our secrets of speed any sooner than we have to. Finally, Bill mumbled something about his HOA and "liking where he lived" or something of that nature.

As long as something disastrous doesn't happen en route (like the last 4000 Bill drove to Texas), we should get our first look at the car late next week.

Godspeed, Bill!

Jimmy

Team Unintended Acceleration

2008-03-21T11:09:00.000-05:00

This blog will document the racing (survival) effort of Team Unintended Acceleration in the 24 Hours of LeMons, held in Houston in October 2008. The team will be campaigning a 1985 Audi 4000 S, which cost $100 to purchase and is being delivered from Florida within the next couple of weeks.

The Audi 4000 was a pretty good car back in the day, but this model is only a four-cylinder car and doesn't have quattro, which in my book makes it a glorified VW (not that there is anything wrong with that). It's also over 20 years old and has seen it's better days. For these reasons and others, it's not worthy of the Audi 4000 moniker, so it has been re-christened the Audi 400. The 400 represents the car's total value, even after we fix it up. I'm guessing that after the race, we will have to drop another zero...maybe two.

Team Unintended Acceleration gets its name from the 1986 broadcast of a 60 Minutes story, which purported that the Audi 5000 had a design defect which caused the car to accelerate out of control, causing all sorts of mayhem. That sounds exactly like the kind of car we want at LeMons!

Jimmy